DIRTY DISNEY/DAKOTA

What do most girls do after a breakup? Cry, eat ice cream, cry, lay in bed all day, cry, watch sad movies, cry, watch happy movies, cry... What do my friends do after a breakup? RAGE. 

Now everybody loves a good themed party; who doesn't like to pretend to be somebody else for a night? This means you can do whatever you want and your not held accountable for your actions, right? RIGHT. THese following events took place at a very overcrowded, themed, house party. The theme? DIRTY DISNEY. who doesn't like slutting up their favorite childhood disney character? That's not twisted at all...

I can't really recall what every one chose to be but i know it included Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Pocohontas, Little Red Riding Hood (not disney!), two of the one hundred and one dalmatians (this was myself and courtney), and then there was dweedle-dee and Dakota took on the persona of dweedle-dum.

We all pre-gamed at Dakota and Penelope's apartment, and then walked over. At this point me and Courtney had stopped speaking in words and had resorted to communicating with arf's, grrrr's, and bark's. We were dalmations, remember. The night is pretty much a big blur of being extremely overheated, drinking more than we should have, dancing, barking, and Dakota. Oh, Dakota.

Dakota had just broken up with her boyfriend of about a year, and she was ready to let loose. This included  getting really really drunk and doing things she later regretted, but i later appreciated because they were so freaking funny. 

Offense 1: making out with a boy who not only herself, but nobody else would normally go near. Offense 2: swaying around in her dweedle-dum costume (just use your imagination, everything is just so much funnier when costumes are involved). Offense 3: TACKLING ONE OF OUR FRIENDS TO THE GROUND AND MAKING OUT WITH HER. The best part? The next morning she had literally no recognition of any of these things happening. She also couldn't step more than five feet away from the toilet since she was still trying to get a lot of the alcohol out... 

This is one of those nights i will look back on and realize why i love my friends so much, because when you think they could do nothing to surprise you... they black out in a dweedle-dee costume and make out with a girl.

COURTNEY HARRIS/ KE$HA

Numerous celebrities have taken on alter egos in the past to let their cray side show. Beyonce Knowles has Sasha Fierce, Nicki Minaj has more than one, Kesha has.. oh wait, Kesha doesn't have one. Why? Because Kesha is fucking insane as it is. That is why she is the perfect person for my friend, Courtney, to take form of on her wildest nights.

Courtney is my roommate and one of my best friends. We are almost always with each other, so I think I have a pretty good idea of how Courtney is. She's pretty cool, calm, and collected. Except randomly, when she decides to go bat-shit crazy and start calling herself Ke$ha.

My first encounter with Ke$ha happened last year on Cinco de Mayo, (or maybe it was Cesar Chavez day), whatever. All i know is it was a day that people were using as an excuse to wear sombreros and drink tequila. Which is what Courtney did.

The night started at a low key kick back where a few of our friends had gathered. It was no where near a rager, so we quickly got bored. It was one of our friends birthday weekends so she was celebrating by toasting and taking shots. At some point someone said something and she started crying. This is when Callie went with her into the bathroom. For Courtney and I, the best idea at this point was to go around the side of the house and try and hear the conversation. We couldn't. At this point we were both starting to feel the tequila, and decided to go hang out on the front porch. Somehow we ended up sitting on the porch swing, me with a beer in my hand. About 5 minutes after, we saw some flashing lights and before we knew what was happening a couple of cops were coming our way. Courtney grabbed my beer, threw it to the side, and for some reason decided to try and drag us to hide in some nearby bushes on the neighbors property. When this was happening the cops were literally 10 feet away, so naturally they saw us. Mr. Tough Cop shined his flashlight at us "Ladies, I can see you perfectly, please get off the neighbors property and out of the bushes". We walked out with our heads down. Shit were caught. The cop directed us to the end of the driveway and asked our names. Fuck we are getting MIPs omg omg what am I going to tell my mom?! God dammit!. I spoke first
"My name is K____" then went Courtney
"My name is CourCour" (CourCour is her NICKNAME!)
"I'm sorry ma'am, your name CourCour?!"
"Errr yes?"
"Alright, CourCour, how old are you?"
"21" NO NO. COURTNEY IS NOT 21.
The cop eyed her, of course. Keep in mind that Courtney was wearing a tribal printed crop top, cut-off jean shorts, and HIGH TOP CONVERSE. Standard outfit for a 21-year-old? no. Then he asked me.
"I'm 19." This seemed to actually make him happy.
"Alright ladies, get out of here." We were free? No handcuffs? no calls to mom? YES. Weird how the truth works. Fucking Courtney.

Before I could really register what happened Courtney took off in a full-on sprint with no destination in mind. All i could do was follow suit. 2 blocks later Courtney spotted a boat in someones driveway, grabbed me, and flung us both behind it. So now we were in a strangers driveway. Fucking Courtney.  We called multiple people and finally one friend picked up. She arrived and in my mind I assumed we were headed home. nope. We pulled up in front of a fraternity house, home to some of my least favorite people. FUCKING COURTNEY. We entered the house, in search of more alcohol (which we really didn't need), found none, and awkwardly stood there. We clearly weren't invited to this LOW KEY HANG OUT! not party. nope. A boy I've had more than enough drama with approached me, trying to talk about working our issues out. At this point I was so confused by the night I didn't know what to do. By some grace of God, Courtney sensed my danger and grabbed me saying our ride was here.
"Ride?! what ride? our ride just left after you kidnapped me. Who is this ride you speak of?"
"Just come on! It's my friend." Courtney instructed. Ya cool, I had never in my life seen this friend of hers driving this random oversized SUV waiting out front. Then the back window rolled down. Oh my god I really am being kidnapped this time. NOPE! just the beautiful face of a couple of my sorority sisters! IM SAFE. 

We were now finally headed towards campus, blasting amazing music, and I was finally having fun. I got dropped off close to my dorm, said my goodbyes and went to my door. I went to pull my key out from in my phone case when i realized... oh no. SERIOUSLY?! OMG OMG!! I don't even know who that kid was! I'm never going to see him again! My new iphone is gone forever! My first instinct was to pound dramatically on my door, waking up all of my roommates. "Who has Courtneys number?!" No one. My second instinct was to sprint out of my room and run around the residential community headed towards Courtney's dorm. Not that she would have been any help in her blacked out state. Then I heard her laugh. It sounded like angels singing because it meant she was near. I spotted her, WITH THE PEOPLE IN THE CAR! including the driver! I ran up to him frantically talking about how i left my phone in his car and couldnt get in my dorm and I had just woken up all my roommates and ahhhhhh. He gave me a blank stare, laughed, and then handed me his car keys to his car that was parked 20 feet away. I ran over, found my phone, and finally headed home. This time I actually got inside.

The next morning I went over to Courtneys, walked in a found her clothes laid over the furniture, drying. Because yes, they were wet. Why? Because shortly after I left Courtney she decided the perfect was to end our night was to jump in the residential pool. I tried to ask her why, but she was too hungover to speak.

After that night I decided that I really liked Courtney, and could really see her as my good friend. And here we are almost a year later; roomies and besties. What a happy ending.

ANGELINA FRAY

Where to start with this one? She is one of my most entertaining friends. I Gould also mention that she is one of the most caring and wise people I know. But, all that aside, she never fails to get herself in yet another situation that provides entertainment for our whole group of friends. Angelina is funny all on her own, she can carry a conversation just with her witty banter. But, it is her actions that make her who she is. I'll probably mention Angelina a lot, but I'm going to start with one very notable story.

Last year, Angelina's second semester of her junior year, she decided to go bar hopping in San Francisco and visit a girl she wasn't really friends with. The night started of well with plans to go to one bar in the marina. Everyone started having way too much fun, including Angelina and pretty soon she was DRUUUUNK. Someone shouted from the crowd "let's hit up the next bar!" and Angelina, being in the state she was, assumed this person was part of we crew. She went to find the girl she came with, only to see her walking off with some dude. Cool. At this point Angelina just decided it would probably be best to take a cab home and meet her friend there. This is a good decision. She stumbled out of the bar, flagged down the first can she saw, got in, realized she had no money, and got out. At this point a random gentleman approached her and asked if she needed help. Imagine him with a random foreign accent that to this day angelina cant figure out what it was. Angelina was pretty on edge at this point and started explaining her situation while tears welled up in her eyes. The young man, who she had NEVER seen before in her life, offered to give her a ride. Angelina agreed. this is a ba decision! Don't ever do that. This is pretty much safety 101. Do not get in cara with strangers. Angelina tried to describe where her friends apartment was, but since she was very intoxicated, and not from San francisco, her efforts failed. After driving around for an hour, and getting lost several times, the man then made the decision that Angelina would be spending the night at his house. Why, at this point angelina agreed, will never be clear. It is important to note that Angelina's phone died earlier in the night after trying to call her friend 15+ times. Once at the mans house, he offered her his bed to sleep of her drunk. "wow that's so nice of you for being so accommodating to someone you don't know" she told him. Then he got in the bed. Then he tried to cuddle. Angelina tried to just fall asleep and ignore the leech attached to her trying to snuggle... But needless to say she didn't get a very good nights sleep. In the morning she charged her phone, called her friend, got picked up, and tried to get the hell out of there as fast as she good. Until she realized she left her wallet. So, she had to go back. Awwwwkward.

How Angelina survived this night is unbeknownst to me. She could have easily been on te front page of a newspaper the next day. If this doesn't show how absolutely ridiculous this girl is I dont know what will. I'm so happy nothing bad happened, but I'm so happy I got to hear this story because it will forever be one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard.

Swath

Definition: opposite of swag. Struggle. Extreme difficulty completing basic tasks. General inability to function as a normal human being. Getting your self in strange situations on a regular basis.

Know this term. I'll use it a lot to describe my friends.

Night of the Walking Swath

In order to get a good idea of how my friends are, I'm going to start with a semi-recent story. Again, through out the blog i will be spending more time on each individual, but for now I will start with a story of how we act as a whole. Again, my friends are as followed; (remember; NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED): Courtney Harris, Callie London, Karen Brown, Angelina Fray, Kat Hansen, Dakota Nelson, Melissa Lancaster, Rachel Perry, and Penelope Dacruz. Oh ya, and me, but I'll just go by K.

Let me take you back to last semester, the very end of it, so December 2011. We were going to a "cocktail"themed party, meaning we were all dressed up. Now this should have been our first clue that the night would end up not-as-expected. For some reason whenever dresses are involved everyone one gets really really fucked up. This happens with out fail at every cocktail and formal. So we were doomed from that point on. Then came the great idea from Dakota for her and I to drink cotton candy flavored vodka... never again. If someone suggests this to you DO NOT DO IT!  It's not that it tastes bad, it tastes amazing, it's the fact that the bottle costs $10, goes down smoothly, and if probably half sugar, half alcohol, if not more. This all means that the bottle didn't last long. The night started at my house, where i live with Courtney, Callie, and Karen. We all met up here to get ready, take pictures, and pregame. Now, pregames are probably my favorite part of all nights out. Who doesn't like an excuse to drink 6+ shots all within a half hours time while dancing, taking pictures, and shouting obnoxiously for no reason at all. Enough of the pregame though, lets get this night started...

Somehow, I can't seem to actually recall how, we ended up at the house party. Dakota had brought the remainder of the cotton candy death along with her, so somehow i kept finding my way back to her, and the bottle. At this point I decided to be a bartender at the houses makeshift bar, and started pouring all of my friends shots of someone's random handle of captain. THAT SHOT OF CAPTAIN KILLED ME AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED. 

The events that follow are some of my own observations, and some are here say. Here's the scene; Courtney is outside getting yelled at by a guy she was dating for some time, and then randomly decided she didn't like and just stopped texting him back. That's all i've got for Courtney, I didn't see her the whole night, actually not until she came home the next morning from the same guys house she was trying to end things with dressed like an adolescent boy in oversized basketball shorts and a high school football sweatshirt. Upon walking in I ran into a boy that I had went on ONE date with, and went to ONE formal with, who wouldn't stop texting me. After seeing him, I said a polite hello, then spent the rest of the night making sure we were never in the same room. Until i went to find Callie, who was dancing quite suggestively with him on the dance-floor. Important thing to know; Callie has a boyfriend... additionally this guy is Callie's boyfriends BEST FRIEND. Good thing he showed up soon after and commanded her attention, or else we could have been dealing with a whole different situation entirely. However, later that evening she told her not-yet-official boyfriend that she loved him... then pretended she didn't actually say that even though her clearly heard her. Then she doesn't remember hooking up with him. Somehow, they're still together. Karen was all over the place having a good time, and then she went home. That's all I've got for her, but she's probably the only person who didn't make a bad decision that night, except when she stole a pair of house keys from one of the residents, who knows why. Angelina was making out with a frat guy. Standard. Then went home with him. Not Standard, but still funny. Kat was taking care of Penelope with Dakota. I remember looking over at one point and seeing Penelope dancing, but propped up by Kat and Dakota. Penelope doesn't go out with all of us much, but when she does she goes hard in the paint. Rachel yelled at her little, and the guy she likes... for no reason except that she was drunk. That seems to be everyone's reasoning though. And then there was me. I did a lot of running around the party, then I ended up on the dance floor. From there I made out with a freshman. Who told me he was a sophomore. But I knew he was a freshman. And I still did it. And he told me his name was Kevin. But I know it's Devin. Because I planned it at the mixer before... KevinDevin FTW. Oh ya, and I came to find out after the fact that KevinDevin HAS A GIRLFRIEND....cool. And then I ran away and we all got home somehow... I think I may have walked. 

The next morning, 3 of us woke up in different beds than our own, 3 of us had large hickeys, and the rest of us had yelled at someone. All in all, it was a night that will go down in history. And the best part is, that every person's actions were not surprising at all... just goes to show how crazy we all are. 

INTRO FO SHO

What do you get when you put 10 girls together, add in some boys, alcohol, and a little bit of crazy. Okay... maybe a lot of crazy. Well, for me this mix results in some pretty entertaining situations, and a lot of WTF moments. Currently, I am a Junior in college, that means me and all of my comrades have the false idea that we have complete control and freedom over our lives. Even though the majority of us wouldn't last a week with out our parents financial and emotional support. However, this sense of thinking we can do whatever we want contributes to the reason we tend to do whatever we want, whether it be a good idea or not. Each one of my friends brings a different kind of crazy to the table. Through out the blog i will be spending more time on each individual, from there you can use your own judgement on just how crazy they are. The girls are as followed (remember; NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED): Courtney Harris, Callie London, Karen Brown, Angelina Fray, Kat Hansen, Dakota Nelson, Melissa Lancaster, Rachel Perry, and Penelope Dacruz. Oh ya, and me, but I'll just go by K.

Our nights usually start with a great idea to get really drunk and just have fun hanging out with each other at some random house party. More often than not, we all get separated, and rejoin the next morning with stories to share. Now, we do all just happen to be in the same sorority. But don't get the wrong idea here. This blog is by no means a reflection of how sororities are in general. I have full confidence that my friends would have the same actions regardless of if they were in sorority or not. I only include this detail because it might come up later in my entries. Another detail to keep in mind is that we all started becoming so close just this year, so we are all still learning a lot of things about each other. And lucky for you, as I learn just how crazy (and awesome) my friends are, so will you!